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10 relationship questions to become closer and more intimate with your partner

Updated: Jul 11, 2023

Many of us want to feel understood by our partner and that we really know them. When life is hectic, it can be possible to lose some of the intensity of connection. Sometimes when couples are having a difficult time, what's needed is mutual understanding and quality time to be able to feel like a team and feel secure in the relationships once again. These questions below can help with building that connection as a couple.

In this blog, we’re sharing 10 relationship questions that you can use with your partner to develop more closeness and connection. These might be questions that are relevant to an established relationship where you want to find more closeness, or for those of you in a new relationship, they may also have relevance as you get to know your partner.

Sometimes to feel more connected and get a sense of intimacy, couples need to have certain conversations and develop a quality of listening to each other and the innermost feelings.

These questions are designed to bring you closer with your partner and to know what’s going on in each other's hearts as well as each other's heads.

Suggestion for having the conversation

Don't shoehorn sensitive questions into another activity, unless there is the space to really listen to each other. Take some time when you can be alone, after the children are asleep or a cup of coffee during the weekend.

Tell your partner that you want to devote some time to understanding them better. Whilst the act of asking questions might feel a little forced, make sure your partner understands it’s for the purpose of understanding each other better. You may want to choose with your partner which questions you are going to ask them and vice versa.

After you ask a question, it can be tempting to chime in when your partner expresses something that you also agree with ("Oh my god, I love it when we lie on on Saturday mornings as well!"). However, relationship experts suggest that taking time to listen to your partner is a real gift and allows them space to be really heard (most of us have been in the situation where someone feels we are not listening to them as much as they would like. Try letting them answer as fully as possible before responding.

10 Couples Intimacy Questions

1. What do you appreciate most about our relationship?

2. What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?

3. What is something that you have never told me?

4. What is something that you would like to share with me?

5. What’s your biggest dream that you haven’t achieved yet?

6. Is there anything that I can do to make you feel more secure in our relationship?

7. How can I show my support or love for you daily?

8. What do you think we need to work on as a couple?

9. How can we grow closer to each other?

10. What makes you feel most loved and appreciated?

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